Why Blog Now?

After a wild 2009 – a year in which I graduated law school, passed the bar, and married my long time partner, I find myself quickly approaching 30 in a completely changed circumstance. I’m no longer a student, and I am refusing to go back and work professionally in politics. That makes me an out-of-work attorney. My husband – at my own urging and insistence – took a job as campaign manager for Das Williams for State assembly – which leaves me here in Sacramento to look after our home and cat Honey Muffin. But I don’t have to get used to being alone. My friend from law school is studying for the February bar, and to avoid her hour-long commute from Alta Sierra, she’s moved a twin mattress into my office. So where as last year, I was frantically balancing the demands of work, law school, the bar, maintaining a healthy relationship, AND planning a wedding, I find myself at the precipice of a burgeoning legal career and new lifestyle. But right now, at this very moment in time – this time in between the preparation of the last decade (a career in politics, a highly specialized education) and the launching of my new career as an election law attorney (which will happen), I find myself in a lull. The economy is sour, job hunting is going slow, the few jobs that are available pay miserably, and I am determined to secure a job that will help me achieve my dream of being one of California’s most sought after political attorneys by 2015.

I recognize how fortunate I am, for many reasons: My husband makes enough money that I can be picky on the job hunt without devastating us financially. When I visit him on weekends, it’s in Santa Barbara, and we get to precinct walk together (which is how we fell in love. don’t judge.) and I can load up on carrots from the awesome farmers market. I have a beautiful home and backyard:

and an arsenal of Home Deport gift cards left over from the wedding to improve it. It’s a wonderful life, and I can’t think of a period of time after the age of 12 that I’ve felt less pressure. I am fortunate because at a time when so many families are losing so much (it’s still a 12% unemployment economy), Honey Muffin and I are truly ladies of leisure.

But at the same time – it’s a weird space to be in, and I am learning a lot. I am learning how to live alone again, which requires certain acts of self-sufficiency that I’ve long ago abandoned to Pat’s domain (i.e. taking out the trash in the yard. Yuck). I’ve got a pseudo-roommate, which means I am learning how to share my space again with someone who’s not Pat (The Cranberries on repeat at 7:30am - true story.) I’m still a newly-wed, so I am learning to navigate the large (and largely conservative) Mexican-American family of my husband’s without implicating any of my feminist principles. And, in just two short months, I’ll be turning 30. All of these changes have inspired me to write this blog. Because for the first time in my life, and perhaps at the most appropriate time to date, I have the down time and the space to learn about the one thing I’ve evaded by keeping busy for so long: myself.

Thirty seems like a big number. It seems like a turning point number. Like – a grown up number. I’m a home owner, an attorney, a wife. Throw “I’m 30” into the mix, and you can come to just one unavoidable conclusion: I’m a grown up. As a soon-to-be “grown up,” I have to wonder if I’ve grown into the woman and person I hoped I would one day be. Or if I am heading into a direction that will lead me to a life that I feel confident about when I reach the next milestone age.

I have journals dating back to 4^th grade. They’ve always helped me be introspective and self-critical of my motives which, in turn, propelled me to be more genuine in my life and actions. I’m not sure exactly that there is a ‘goal’ that I am trying to achieve with this blog, but that is one benefit of writing that encouraged me to start this project. So, here goes….